“It’s just a bag blowing in the wind… do you have any idea how complicated your circulatory system is?” -God, Family Guy
The restaurant industry is like war. 95% of the time it’s boring and mundane and the other 5% is interesting and chaotic. It’s not like how it’s portrayed in Hollywood: Not every staff member and customer is hot and getting laid all the time. Most of the time nothing fun is going on and people are usually predictable.
Behind the scenes, especially in the kitchen, it’s even more boring and inglorious. There’s plenty of supper rushes and Gordon Ramsey wannabes who bully employees, but the truth is far more depressing. In reality, it often stinks of body odour, weed, and rotten waste.
I’ve worked four BOH (back of house for the uninitiated) positions and never regretted it: These were dishwashing, prep cook, expo, and delivery. At this place I did three: If there were no deliveries I washed dishes, and if there was neither I’d prep food. I’m better as a waiter in general and bartender in particular, but I’ve had good times working BOH and it gave me a wide, strategic perspective of restaurants.
Most restaurant staff have done one or two roles and think they know everything. I worked most positions in the FOH (front of house) and BOH from dishwasher to manager and have enough wisdom and humility to understand how complicated restaurant operations are. But I accumulated enough experience and knowledge to eventually gleam the bigger picture of how restaurants should be ran… most of the time at least.
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I was working for a popular but mediocre pizza chain. It’s not uncommon for popularity and mediocrity to coincide in the industry. If you don’t believe me see how popular so many mediocre songs, TV shows, and sports teams exist. They’re often only perceived to be popular because so many people think others like them.
With hindsight, I’m lukewarm about my time at the place. The management was supportive, most employees were fine, and I made great money thanks to delivery charges, customer tips, and tip-outs from the FOH. But the job was tedious, as a dish washer I was looked down upon by many, and I fell in love with a girl who broke my heart. But that story is for another time.
Onto the “event” in question.
I came in for another dishwashing shift at 10 a.m. As I went through the dish pit towards the change room I passed a bright, new Pepsi cooler. I didn’t notice it at first as I walked by despite how big it was.
Instead, I greeted the kitchen staff, changed clothes, and made fun of my friend Joseph in the bathroom by text (a morning ritual I did for kicks). Finally, I headed back to the dish pit and saw the brand new Pepsi cooler. I paused for a brief moment, looked it over for two seconds, and merely thought: “A new cooler, now we can store pop cans close to the takeout area, instead of having to go to the walk-in cooler in the kitchen every time we need soda.” I noted it for future reference but it provoked no emotional response, as it shouldn’t have!
The dish pit acted as a choke point where all FOH and BOH staff passed to get to the employee area as they enter work. This was good as it let me greet everyone as they passed by, especially cute waitresses. I was strikingly good-looking at the time (thanks to the gym) and got plenty of visual attention from them. However, back then I was shy and being a dishwasher gave me little status. If there are male dishwashers who’ve picked up hot waitresses let me know,
Anyway, that day the chokepoint would expose me to constant annoyances, as everyone stopped to gawk at the new Pepsi cooler. I assumed they would note the inanimate object, realize its practical use, and go on with lives. But I was wrong. To this day I don’t know why the cooler fascinated and hypnotized people.
Was it sheer novelty as something new introduced into the ecosystem? Was it a temporary distraction from otherwise boring routines for them (again 95% of the time the industry is dull)? Did it give them an excuse to linger for awhile before getting to tasks they didn’t relish? Was it simply the power of branding and advertising?
Or was it just sheer curiosity and aesthetics? One of my flaws in the industry was not always appreciating atmosphere and aesthetics, which I’ll detail another time. Maybe the staff just saw a shiny, neat cooler, and took 10-15 seconds enjoying it; versus the 0.68 seconds I expended calculating how it would benefit me.
Anyway, it doesn’t bother me that my colleagues were wowed by the inanimate object dropped into our midst. What annoyed me the whole morning is how everyone, and I mean everyone, stopped to ask me if I noticed it. It didn’t matter if they were waitresses, supervisors, or cooks. They came, they saw… they inquired.
At the time I hadn’t mastered smalltalk, despite being in the industry for three years, but I did my best to pretend to be friendly and interested. I can’t remember all the dialogue but most conversations went like this: Generic employee: “Hey, have you seen this” or “check it out,” or “when did they bring this in,” etc.
Myself: “Oh, they must have brought it in early in the morning.” NO SHIT RIGHT, it wasn’t there when we closed the other night!
By the 5th or 6th time I was asked about it I’m sure I showed signs of annoyance or apathy. I’d like to think I said “it’s just a Pepsi cooler,” or “I don’t know, who gives a fuck?” Most likely I remained polite and finally put on my headphones, so I could wait until lunch when everyone had seen the 8th wonder of the world and went on with their lives.
I don’t know why I remember this lame story 14 years later. Maybe because it reminds me of how boring the industry is most of the time, and how people need to find anything to keep themselves entertained.
It was just a stupid Pepsi cooler… and people need more hobbies.