Category: Bar Memoirs: “Tips Aren’t Worth It!”
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“I’ve Known the Owner Since… 4 p.m.”
Who the fuck do some people think they are? Take it from a bartender who served in the trenches for 17 years… human beings are exhausting. There are the Karens, who require no description. You have loud mouth drunks who “tell it the way it is” but can’t take it when you tell them how…
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My First Restaurant Job
“If anything is good for pounding humility into you permanently, it’s the restaurant business.” -Anthony Bourdain My colleague and I looked at the restaurant’s slogan on the bar coaster: “Your table is ready.” Our eyes met and we laughed in disgust. It was lame and like most things at the place it was mediocre… and…
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It Took Just Five Minutes!
If you hate your job the worst part is the beginning of the shift when you get back from the weekend. In this case it was Wednesday, since at my least favourite restaurant I worked Wednesdays to Sundays during the evenings, and got Mondays and Tuesdays off. This was good for the money, as these…
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My Year in the Dish Pit
The best generals in history rose up from the bottom. They know what it’s like to crawl through mud and blood and understand conflict at all levels of war. It’s the same in the restaurant industry. I’ve seen too many daddy’s boys or corporate hacks planted into management, who fucked everything up, to know the…
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The Customer Who got Hit in the Head with a Stool (My First Shift as Bar Manager)
I stood over the man’s motionless body, not sure if he was alive. My colleagues couldn’t move, they were in shock. The guy who had assaulted the man finished swearing at him then made for the exit. I asked the waitress to call 9/11 then walked towards the office to tell the owner what happened.…
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Things I Miss and Don’t Miss About the Bar Industry
1). I miss the tips. 2). I don’t miss the financial insecurity. 3). I miss the cute girls. 4). I don’t miss their gossip and drama. 5). I miss all the great nights we went out drinking. 6). I don’t miss the countless hangovers. 7). I miss the 15% of great managers I had the…