“Lois, what are you doing in here anyway?” -Peter Griffin, Family Guy

I dated few quality women while bartending… and that’s an understatement. To be fair many waitresses say the same about men. It’s not that there aren’t good people in bars, it’s just proportions are lower. When your industry is flooded by booze, drugs, and casual sex, you get many duds. Add in stress, conflict, long hours, shitty customers and flakey colleagues, you become numb, paranoid, and weary of people. Or maybe I just become pessimistic and guarded after working for too many toxic bars.

***

It was the fall of 2019 and I was working at the football stadium. It was my third year at university and by that point I just wanted every assignment and class to be over. My full time job at a local pub had also ended when the place closed down. While it was among the best places I worked at, its location sucked and we didn’t make enough money. I was low on cash, tired of school, and not ready to meet anyone.

Usually I bartended on the dream deck, a patio overlooking the football field. I don’t know the exact date, but it was cold and snowing. I hate the cold, and sometimes talking to customers (especially when tips suck) so I asked my manager if I could bartend inside. After all, most customers were drunk men, preferred being served by hot women, and moving inside wouldn’t significantly interrupt beer lines of communication. Whenever this happened we’d usually set the bar up just inside the doors, but it was either crowded or there was some dumb stand in the way;so we set up operations in the utility room a few meters away. 

You would think bartending out of a closet would be lame but unless you’re a constant people person you are mistaken. The ice and supplies were close, we didn’t have to deal with customers, and since the waitresses came in and out quickly the gossip was minimal! 

There was a cute, quiet blond who served at the stadium. We worked on the same floor but didn’t talk to for the first two years. Most of the time I was busy stocking my bar, serving drinks, and compensating for lazy colleagues. Despite the industry I can be quiet with women and I remember my abortive first attempt to engage her the previous year. She was slender, curvy, and had gorgeous, big blue eyes. I saw her in the hall one day and said hi in a friendly voice. Either she didn’t hear it, was distracted, or ignored me. I took the dig, went back to work, and forgot about it. 

Another time she came into the utility room to get something, didn’t talked to us, and I made fun of her… assuming she was a snob. Because most times I saw her she didn’t smile, she rarely talked, and didn’t seem to want to deal with anyone she didn’t have to. After we got together I realized I was wrong. That she had been hurt by most men, her family had emotionally neglected her, and there was a reason she had sadness in her eyes.

At the time I was pretty beat up too. Tired of the bar industry, stressing over school, sick of the shallow girls I met, and just wanted to get through another shift at the stadium. I had no idea that woman would end up being my fiancé. 

***

A year later she walked into the utility room on that cold, dark night. She was looking for something and after a few minutes asked me about it. She had a quiet, almost sad demeanour and despite my cold exterior my bar training and personal disposition made me instinctively want to help people. I think it was about coffee grinds or some nonsense but one of the patio girls interrupted us so the exchange ended abruptly. 

She came back shyly a few minutes later and I apologized for the sudden ending of our talk. I helped her find what she needed and then went back to watching my smart phone. Instead of leaving she lingered… which with hindsight meant something. I was watching a clip from Family Guy, the episode where Lois is preparing everything for Meg’s second birthday and Peter doesn’t help her. Eventually she asked, with more confidence than usual, “is that Family Guy?”

Years later I don’t remember the rest of our conversation. Most likely I put down my guard, dropped my phone, and had a fun chat with her. That’s the thing about chemistry, you can talk about anything. She left soon and I went back to my phone. 

But a few minutes later I paused, remembered her name, and decided I would message her on Facebook. A few days later I sent her a short, kind message after a few drinks… or maybe half a dozen?

Except for a brief pause I’ve been with her ever since.